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06 March 2011 @ 02:07 am
A Rare Meme, Day One  
Stolen from ariestess .


So, each day, you are supposed to answer one of these:

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

Feel free to do your own!

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Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1.  I have never loved anyone nor felt as truly loved by anyone as I love and feel loved by you.  I'm so deeply happy we found each other again and so incredibly amazed by the fact that you chose me, are choosing me.  Every day with you is a beautiful day.  My heart aches from missing you, my darling.  Soon, I will be home in your arms again.

2.  You are the best friend I've ever had and the most lost.  I look forward to watching you really come into your own.  You're already so special, so amazing.  Once those walls come down and you believe that about yourself, you'll be unstoppable.

3.  It's taken me a long time to understand that I never lost your love.  Sometimes, I grieve for the child I was who spent so much time searching for ways to please you, to win you back.  It never worked, but for entirely different reasons than I thought.  I am so glad that I made it to this age and figured it out so that we can have the relationship we have now.  Your presence in my life now and your support are gifts I never expected.

4.  Sometimes I wonder what happened between us to drive us so far apart.  I don't feel like I know you very much these days and that saddens me.  However, you are raising stellar, intelligent, beautiful, and thoughtful children and it is my privilege to know them.  Thank you for that.

5.  The fact that we get along so amazingly well and that you approve of me makes me happier than I feel comfortable telling you right now.  I think you are an amazing human being and I love being around you and your family.  I promise you will never have occasion to hate me or my actions.  I will never, ever risk disappointing you or hurting her.  Never.

6.  I miss working with you, but more than that, I miss your daily presence in my life.  Your calm and open nature has always been an inspiration to me and something that I aspire to emulate.  I loved being your assistant and now I adore being your friend.  I just miss you a lot.

7.  Our friendship had a serious power differential problem for which we were both equally responsible.  When I ended it, it was because I needed to do so in order to rediscover my own power.  I dreamed about you today and I have a sense that what we had is unfinished.  The dream made me think I should contact you but my ego is afraid of looking weak to you.  I'm working on it, though, and you may be hearing from me soon.

8.  I wish I could have known you at all, but especially in the way she knew you.  By honoring you, I am able to honor her place in this spiritual journey of mine, of which she's been such an important part.  Thank you for the gift of her.  I don't think she has any idea how wonderful she truly is, but I know you knew.  I know much of you shines through her.  So maybe, in a way, I do know you a little.

9.  None of you three know me, but I know you.  I know you by your deeds and they and you are evil in my eyes.  It is hard for me to say this, but you cannot be redeemed.  You have caused too much pain and taken too much cruel pleasure in the causing of it.  I cannot decide which of the three of you I loathe more than the others.  It may be good that you don't know me.  My hatred for you is cold, searing, and unquenchable.  May you find your way back to whatever god you think claims you.  Do not cross my path, though.  Trust me on this.

10.  It has taken me so long to get to this point and it is only the beginning, not a destination.  This inspires awe in me--the awe of the ages.  You have given me so many gifts that I am undeserving of, You have lifted me when I could no longer stand on my own, You have shown me the way to return to you when I was lost.  I promise to keep studying and learning even after April 13th and to make this life you've given me count for something in Your eyes.  Todah rabah, for everything.
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My State of Mind: tiredtired