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26 September 2005 @ 07:34 pm
Interesting Discovery  

So I was diagnosed at 18 with PTSD and depression secondary to the rapes I suffered when I was five years old. That means I have been on anti-depressants for almost 18 years.

The latest med has been Zoloft, which I've taken every day for almost three years.

Recently I decided to try an experiment. I stopped the zoloft about about three weeks ago, to see what would happen.

Though I am keeping a very close eye on things so that I'm not taken by surprise by another depressive episode, I've made some very interesting discoveries.

1) Apparently you cannot kill your libido; you can only put it in a coma. Mine is back, with a vengeance. I hope the pendulum swings to a balanced position soon or I might go looking for my first one-night stand ever.

2) I'm not suffering from a depressive episode at the moment. I am, however, very, VERY opinionated. And much more honest. I am telling it like it is for the first time in my life. Consider yourselves warned.

3) I do feel irritation and anger but I am not "stuck" in them as I was afraid I would be. In fact, I am finding it very interesting, these things I've been feeling. I think they're called 'emotions'. For example, today I felt all of these:

contentment, joy, happiness,
irritation, annoyance, excitement,
anticipation, boredom, accomplishment,
relief, empathy, and love.

If I make more interesting discoveries during this experiment, I will let you know.

Oh, and this is something I am doing personally, for my own edification. I have no medical expertise and am not recommending this as a course of action for anyone else.

"Life is too short and too costly already to buy crappy-looking art." --Erin Hoagland

"I live for the day when someone takes that bonsai tree you love so much and shoves it so far up your ass that you'll be picking leaves out of your nose for weeks!" --Jordan Cavanaugh, Crossing Jordan
My State of Mind: amusedInteresting
shayshaych_03 on September 27th, 2005 01:35 am (UTC)
sounds like you have had a full day :)

Backwards Girl: Faith's Hairfight_back83 on September 27th, 2005 05:23 am (UTC)
I do think people sometimes medicate/get medicated far too often for their own good and I'm speaking from personal experience, having literally been on everything on the market. Sometimes I think it's just a matter of mind-set. Not that I don't think there are some people who do need to be on it, just that . . . well . . . this could turn into a rambling diatribe on a society addicted to correcting everything through medication. :)

Just be careful, okay? That stuff does some wicked things to your body and your mind, good and bad, and coming off of it really is detoxing. And try to stay positive. Sometimes depressive episodes are chemical but sometimes avoiding anticapting them can keep them at bay. Does that make sense? Should I stop preaching?
seftiri: Diane @ Habitat4Humanityseftiri on October 3rd, 2005 10:20 am (UTC)
So sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you on this topic. :)

Detoxing is certainly the right word for it. I'm still experiencing headaches, which is something I rarely suffer from at any point in my life. In fact, the last time I had headaches for this long and this intensity, I found out that I had mono. I am being very careful and so far have not noticed any return to a depressive state and for that, I am glad.

I also feel that perhaps 75% or more of the people currently taking anti-depressant medicines should not be taking them. And I'd be right behind you in a societal diatribe on the addiction of over-medication.

Thanks for the advice and information, hon. It made perfect sense and I did not think you were "preaching" at all. :)