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05 October 2005 @ 02:34 pm
Why I Love My Techno-Impaired Parents...  
So the other day, after my grandmother's wake at the after thingy at my parents' house, my dad was sitting next to my computer and he bumped it while gesiculating, causing the screensaver to go off. Now he is all freaking out because he thinks he's hurt the computer...he says to me, in a room full of somber-ish people:

"Erin, I did something to your computer and a woman appeared on the screen--"

Now I know what is on the screen because it's my desktop picture. It was a gift from my friend Shay. It depicts a tender moment between Elizabeth Blaine from Drac II & III and Kate Lockley from Angel. (I'll tell you more about that later.) I do.not.want.him.to.talk.about.it. Especially at this time and place.

So I try to cut him off. "Yeah, Dad, it's okay...you just bumped it out of screensaver mode--"

"--And it has words..."

And my father starts READING them. It's a bit of poetry about being made whole by love. There's a room full of people, mostly my extended family, all glued to his every word. I try to cut him off again.

"Yeah, Dad, it's just my desktop picture. It's not a problem, you didn't--"

"--But there's a woman on the screen and....and..."

By now he's noticing certain pertinent details, like the OTHER WOMAN in the picture and the fact that they are not clothed (it's from the shoulders up, but it's still pretty obvious they aren't clothed). I am desperate to stop him from continuing the description in front of OUR GRIEVING FAMILY.

"--Yeah, Dad, I know. I put it there. A woman, long red hair, vampire teeth. I know it's there. Really, it's okay. You didn't do anything."

He leans forward, closer to the screen.


"Well, yeah. That's one way to describe it."

I hold my breath. His best friend from high school laughs knowiingly. My heart is whooshing in my chest. This could go either way. Has he been drinking? Oh God, I hope not.

Then suddenly Dad gets distracted by something else and drops the subject.

I sigh with relief and go back to drawing Jack O'Lanterns for my niece, thanking The Limer Goddess that I got him to stop before he described a sapphic vampire picture to an entire room of stoic Dutch people who avoid my sexuality like they avoid sushi.

So yeah.

I've never had a moment so frought with imminent horror just because my screensaver got bumped off.

Holy friggin' Hell.

Thought you'd enjoy the story. :)


My State of Mind: amusedamused
What the Voices in My Head Hear: Eddie Izzard--Unrepeatable
Kathryn Erbe's biggest fan: actress Diane/model name on faceaudragoren on October 5th, 2005 06:56 pm (UTC)
Laughing out loud again..people here are going to wonder about me soon!
seftiri: AJ Cuteseftiri on October 6th, 2005 01:51 am (UTC)
Ooooops. :D
celievampcelievamp on October 5th, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
oh yeah... my work computer has a screensaver that just cycles through the 'My Pictures' I have stored on it. Because its me, they're mostly Stargate or Farscape related - and mostly quite tame, but still, two women, no guys in sight... the other day I happened to be talking to someone at my desk and the screensaver was doing its thing... he stops talking and starts watching the pictures scroll through. "Stargate," he says. "Oh I like that." Brow furrows in puzzlement. "Not sure I'm watching the same version as you though..."
Kathryn Erbe's biggest fan: actress Mariska sexyaudragoren on October 5th, 2005 07:56 pm (UTC)
you people need to stop, that was funny!
seftiri: Squee!seftiri on October 6th, 2005 01:52 am (UTC)
LOLOLOL That's classic!
Danielle: Mariska and Diane - Hee!dani_ellie on October 5th, 2005 10:10 pm (UTC)

Hehehehehehe. That is SO something that would happen in my house.
seftiri: All Smilesseftiri on October 6th, 2005 01:56 am (UTC)
LOL yeah...my parents are wonderful people...living next door, that is. in the same house? a bit harrowing. LOL

nah, they are the sweetest, kindest, most supportive people...they just aren't technosavvy...

poor dears.
shayshaych_03 on October 6th, 2005 01:12 am (UTC)
my mom would stop, take a look at the picture, and smile. "nice work, shay" ... my grandmother, on the other hand, would likely 1) be completely certain that she had irrepairably destroyed my computer and 2) ask if she had accidentally logged me on to the internet and downloaded porn.

this is why my laptop stays at home..

actually, if most of my friends saw my artwork, they'd just stop and admire it... mostly for technique, but a few would appreciate the scenery ;)

seftiri: Liz Lay Her Downseftiri on October 6th, 2005 01:57 am (UTC)
I was at home...I just wasn't in MY chair. LOL

That's what I get for coloring with the baby. ;)
shayshaych_03 on October 6th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC)
aw who knows, maybe it provided a moment of levity in an otherwise sad day...:)
dragynflies: Faerydragynflies on October 7th, 2005 04:10 am (UTC)
**huge icon love*

That is a boootiful picca there!

Also re: computer....HEE!