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23 November 2005 @ 08:55 pm
Review, "Rockabye", 11/22/05  


This week's review is brought to us by the letters 'A' and 'S' and the number '6'. Unfortunately no, Super Grover couldn't be with us today.



However, joining us instead today is Guest Reviewer Dad.



I love watching SVU with my Dad. Except he really doesn't see the subtext. It's sad, really. But oh well.

Summary of Episode:

A hooker in the midst of her boring work hears a girl screaming in the next room in the hotel she frequents. When she knocks on the door, a kid in army green runs past her and the hooker calls 911 for the girl she finds beaten on the floor. During the investigation, detectives discover that the girl is 16 and pregnant and that her father--Sully from "Third Watch"--is looking for her. She apparently came to NY for an abortion while selling it to her dad as a trip to see friends and check out schools. The baby...fetus...whatever...dies as a result of the beating. Further investigation implicates the girl in the planning of the beating. And then we get the joy of The Great Abortion Debate as played out by Arthur Branch, Liz Donnelly, and Annie Potts as Defense Attorney Sophie Devere with Casey Novak as the King's Pawn.


DiNovia's Content Commentary:

Ahhh...the writer's are mixing it up a bit! Instead of Olivia hopping in the back of an Ambulance during the teaser, she hops into it near the end of Act One! Anyone want to guess how many Ambulances Liv's been in this season? I'm going to start tracking this. LOL A

Wow. St. Vincent's sure does have a State of the art Security System, doesn't it? And a super quick turnaround time for being seen. I live in Bum Fuck Nowhere and when I go to the ER, I sit in a gurney out in the open, waiting for someone to notice me. Sometimes for hours! And yet she got in, changed, seen by a nurse, and left alone long enough to steal clothing all by the time Liv got through the interview with Smarmy hotel manager guy! I'm impressed! I'm also impressed with the Security cameras at St. Vincent's. If I want my picture taken at my ER, I have to bring my own camera or go to x-ray. S

"Golden Promise"? What's that? The name of the hair dye used to destroy Casey Novak's hair? Oh, it's an ABSTINENCE promise! I see. Here's a thought: instead of asking children to sign contracts that they are not mature enough to understand let alone abide by, why don't we EDUCATE them! SEX EDUCATION! WHAT A NOVEL IDEA! A

Okay, I know I'm a Stickler for Accuracy AS, particularly where two things are concerned: legal procedure and medically-related information. It was I, if you recall, who nearly lost it at the end of "911" when Olivia dug up a living child who'd been buried in a trash bag. (That's some garden you've got there, ma'am. Brings new meaning to the word 'nursery'.) Therefore you will forgive my screaming for the following: girl is found in the back of a car, blood all over the seat. Doc says a massive blood clot from a liver lac burst and if the detectives hadn't found her when they did, Lauren would have died.

Um...no. Take a look at this.



The above shows the blood supply to the common Human liver. Notice the presence of the hepatic artery, the hepatic vein, and the portal vein. See how large they are and how their branches cover the main body of the liver? Livers are notoriously difficult to deal with, particularly in internal bleeding situations. Watch some "Trauma: Life in the ER" if you doubt me. They're always airlifting "liver lacs" to trauma units on that show. So.....if the detectives had found Lauren before the blood clot burst, yes, our darling Lauren "I'm too stupid to take off my watch when I hit myself" Westley might have lived. She would have had a good shot at survival actually. Especially with the right surgeon. However, with the amount of blood supposedly found in the back of the car, the length of time it had to have taken to transport Lauren to the hospital via ambulance, and her slight build and weight...well Lauren should be a ghost. Why is it that people are surviving what are obviously fatal injuries on this show while we are expected to believe that a SINGLE GUNSHOT TO THE RIGHT SHOULDER "killed" Alex Cabot?

How many times did someone ask Lauren if Wayne raped her before she finally answered? I was ready to beat the little bitch myself. Just answer the damned question already!! Jesus!

Oh. Joy. Rapture. Elliot Stabler has one session with a psychiatrist, cries three or four tears about a freakin' diorama, and suddenly he's Dr. Phil. /rolling eyes Hey, Elliot? Ever hear the phrase "Physician, heal thyself"? Go home and repair your relationship with your wife before you wander around giving unsolicited parenting advice to chubby daddies, okay?

Arthur Branch is like the scum that one might find in the bottom of the slimiest scum pond. AS

Casey Novak asking Judge Donnelly to recuse herself because of her personal politics regarding the abortion issue. O_o

Casey Novak asking Judge Donnelly to recuse herself because of her personal politics regarding the abortion issue while standing two steps above her on the stairwell. O_o!!

Casey Novak blackmailing Judge Donnelly and throwing the "friend" card out at the same time. WTF??

Though I could listen to Donnelly saying "You can tell your boss to go screw himself" over and over for the rest of my life. Never.gets.old. LOLOL

Guest Reviewer Dad Weighs In: "They are trying to hit every hot button topic in one show! Activist judges, Abortion, Abstinence, Women's Rights, Gender Equality Under the Law... The writers don't tire easily, do they?" A

Oh, and a side note thanks to shaych_03. It was Alex Cabot that was Miss Political Ambition 2000-2003, not Casey Novak. Alex wanted to be governor. She was the one concerned with the political ramifications of her work, who openly admitted to using her post in Sex Crimes as a stepping stone up the political ladder. As far as I know, Casey has had only one motive in her work in Sex Crimes thus far: justice for the victims. Her most overtly political case was "Goliath" and even then it was to expose what the US military was doing to its own. Something that would have destroyed any real political Ambitions she might have had. Therefore, Judge Donnelly's Admonition to Casey re: playing politics with the law was completely mis-aimed. A

Casey did the right thing and won another case! In front of Petrovsky! Joy!!

Hot button issue number six: Pharmacists that refuse to fill prescriptions or sell drugs that they find to be against their moral conscience! A group of people that I feel will have a special room in Hell specifically tailored to their needs. 6

Anyone else Sweating it out when Arthur showed up in court after he Sandbagged Casey's deal with Sophie? I thought for sure she was about to go down in Serena-Southerlyn-style flames. Ask Guest Reviewer Dad... I was actually talking to the writers out loud. And yes, it did include the word "fucktards". Oh, the Suspense! (Thanks purplekudzu!) S

And yes, kiddies, Arthur Branch is Casey Novak's bitch! LOL Case in point:

AB: ::bearing down on Casey in court, looking very intimidating and very pudgy:: "[blah, blah, blah--something like WTF, Novak?]"
CN: ::standing there with Olivia right damn behind her, protecting her...um...assets:: "[blah, blah, blah--something having to do with the doctor]"
AB: ::backing.the.fuck.down.--sorta:: "Well, I may be pro-life but I'm more pro-law. Arrest the doctor."

Though I would have to call their whole episode's worth of interaction a tie. Which--according to shaych_03--means the score is now Casey 2, Branch 0, Tie 1. :D Casey's still winning!

DiNovia's Other Commentary:

10:24pm Casey Novak on screen! And boy, is she pissed! My father says she was pissed "for the wrong reasons". I say she was pissed because she and Olivia are trying to get pregnant and to be faced with someone who would end an unwanted pregnancy through such violence enraged her. Of course in the Subtext to English Dictionary, what I actually said to my father was: "Oh, I think it was for the right reasons. I just don't think it was for the reasons you think it was for." LOL Subtext Squee #1 S

May I take just another moment here to push the hair weasels into a pool filled with double-edged razor blades suspended in lemon Jello express once again my deep disappointment that Casey Novak is still sporting the Crayola Yellow hair? Please bring back the red tresses. I am about to get out my Klingon bat'telth begging you. This is not the complaint of a lone loony something to be taken lightly, I assure you. Does Ms. Neal not have any control over what thumbless Neanderthals are allowed to touch her hair a say in this? I suggest you bring back the red before we start mailing boxes of red hair dye to your office...with the caps on the bottles removed right away. Did you not learn your lesson when Mariska publicly called you out on her own online forum with Ms. Hargitay's hair? Do you really want to worry about Lime Koolaid in your showerheads to face two angry women suffering from permanent bad hair days? Fuckers I should think not. Go piss up a rope and die Thank you for your time.

The Addition of the Absent Sister who got pregnant and was thrown out of the house by Daddy Sully was a bit convenient, yes? Did the kid pick up that plot line with the turkey sandwich and the rose at the corner store? AS

Is Annie Potts half-Pygmy or is Diane just.that.tall? Crikey! I thought I was going to have to start calling Annie "Counselor Oompa Loompa".

WARNER! Warner on the stand! With her long, beautiful hair and that oh-so-smooth complexion and...and... O_o! OMG, that's an x-ray of a fetus with a cracked skull! That'll suck the eyecandy out of any scene, I don't care who you are. ::blink blink::

Pop Quiz! When Arthur Branch approached Casey in court after she gave the defense the gift of the clinic nurse, Olivia Benson--who was standing right behind Casey--was thinking which of the following:

A) "Whatever you have to say to her, you say to me too, you overgrown gasbag. And don't even think of firing her!"
B) "Oh shit! Casey's in trouble now. What can I do to make it up to her? I know! A bubble bath and champagne. Followed by hot monkey sex of course. But that was a given."
C) "God! Casey's ass looks fantastic in those slacks! Damn!"
D) "That's right, you freakishly tall Republican mouthpiece! I'm your star ADA's lesbian lover. Fold that up until it's all sharp corners and shove it somewhere painful! Now, you were about to say?"
E) All of the above.


Answer: E
Subtext Squee #2! S

Really, just a small question: the legal description of the death of the fetus was "an unjustified Abortional act"... Is "Abortional" even a word? Okay, maybe two small questions. When exactly would beating a pregnant girl until she Aborted an unwanted pregnancy be a "justified Abortional act"? I don't think the word "unjustified" was precisely what they were looking for there. A

When Arthur said to "Arrest the doctor" did you think Casey was going to go with Olivia to do that? I was a little shocked myself. Right until Subtext Squee set in, then I was all fuzzy with visions of them doing that every week. Like Cagney and Lacey. Only younger. And hotter. And...not. Subtext Squee #3! S

I'd like to actually compliment the writers. No, really. Stop looking at me like that. Seriously. The subject matter of this episode SCREAMED for one of our weekly visits to the "Holiska is Heterosexual" and "Babies for Benson" Coalitions. And yet, you didn't go there. For that I am thankful. You did, however, go to the Subtext-a-Palooza--not once but THREE times. And for that, I SQUEE! S

Aside on the Teaser for Next Week's Ep: Um...is this the ep where we find out that Olivia is Sydney Bristow's older sister? When Olivia goes "off the radar", it's time for us to get out our SharkJump Spotting Binoculars. Really. It is.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and one thing that I am profoundly thankful for is the laughter and happiness that these silly little reviews bring to you all. Those who comment every week and those who lurk. I am so pleased that they make you laugh. That's the highest compliment I could ever receive. I am also thankful for all of you, because you bring so much into my life. Happy Thanksgiving! /mushy stuff.

Final Thoughts from Guest Reviewer Dad: "I think that fake abortion clinics who intentionally delay abortions after their attempts to counsel the abortion-seeker fail should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for they are perpetrating fraud on those women. It's not what the episode was about really, but I feel strongly about that."

Okay, so this was a pretty solid episode. Everyone but Huang was in it (though they could have used his expertise, I'm sure). A political hot button episode was kept relatively calm by the writers. Casey won in court, did the right thing, and got to blackmail Liz Donnelly. Not to mention forced Arthur into a tie in another argument. Annie Potts did an excellent job as Counselor Oompa Loompa, Skipp did a wonderful job as Pudgy Daddy Cranky, and the casting directors actually cast teenagers to play teenagers. The writers kept to one topic field, if not to one topic alone. Everything was fairly coherent. And there was enough subtext to choke a horse.

Not a bad episode. Again, lacking certain bells and whistles, but beggars can't be choosers this season.

DiNovia's Rating:



It would have gotten three Limes of Loveliness for being a solid episode but I think I will just go ahead and subtract one lime for every episode that Casey is blonde.

And if that doesn't get someone to change their ways, I will find the email address for the hair/makeup department and shall commence with "Plan B".

::Nods.::



Twoodles.

DiNovia
 
 
My State of Mind: surprisedsurprised
What the Voices in My Head Hear: Sinead O'Connor--Three Babies and is that weird timing or w
 
 
 
seftiri: LMAOseftiri on November 25th, 2005 12:25 pm (UTC)
Re: ahh yes ...
I'm so glad you liked the review! I had particular fun with the visual aids this time out. I really wanted an easel and a laser pointer for the liver lac explanation but c'est la vie!

I will certainly let everyone know as soon as I implement "Plan B" of my Attack on the Killer Hair Weasels as I will need all of you to help. :)

And feel free to comment as much as you like. Really. I love to read. And comments are like crack. ;)