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20 January 2006 @ 11:57 pm
Review, "Taboo", 01/17/06  


No ad this week.  I got nuthin'.  Sorry.  :(  Maybe next week.

Summary of Episode:

A dog walker and her charge bring human afterbirth back to the home, prompting the dog's owner to retrace her dog's walk where they find a squealing three-month-old newborn wrapped in a t-shirt, placed in a box, and in a garbage bag.  Also in the garbage bag are bloody sheets and a bag clip from a gourmet coffee place.  The infant survives.  Now it's up to Olivia Benson to find the abandoned child's mother!  Dun-dun-dunnnnnn.  The t-shirt (stating "Einstein's Drunken Genius") is the magic clue that leads detectives to a bar near the Manhattan Institute of Technology.  The bar administers IQ tests to patrons who do four shots and the winner gets a t-shirt!  And apparently must also surrender their passport information because strangely enough the bar has all the t-shirt recipients' names and addresses on file.  Which leads them to Heather, a student at ManIT, who says she lent the shirt to her ex-roommate, Ella, who now lives down the hall in a single. 

Ella, who is not enchanted or enchanting, cannot find the shirt but Olivia notes the matching pillow cases to the sheets and the matching bag clip to the gourmet coffee bag and voila!  She's found her baby mama!  However, they cannot compel a DNA test because there is no definitive physical evidence tying Ella to the birth of the child.  Casey tells them that she had to have told someone that she was pregnant.  Find that person and she can get a warrant.  So Olivia keeps Ella busy in the squad while Munch and Fin run down leads.  Ella, getting sicker and sicker, claims never to have been pregnant until she collapses in the elevator.  At the hospital, she lays out the predictable, make-Olivia-useless sob story ("I was raped!") while Munch and Fin find out that this is not the first baby Ella has thrown in the trash. 

By the time Olivia finds out the "I was raped!" story is, indeed, just a story, Ella has clammed up again.  However Warner has discovered the awful truth!  Box Baby's daddy and Ella's daddy are the SAME PERSON!  Sing along if you know the words: Ewwwwwwwwwwww!  But since the incest didn't begin until after Ella's 18th birthday, it isn't technically against the law.  It's more of a flavor of marital interference.  Therefore Daddy Dearest gets a slap on the wrist and Ella gets to spend the next three or so years as a guest of the local state mental hospital.  Here is where we should have all stopped watching so as to preserve the illusion that this particular episode was an actual episode of SVU.  Unfortunately for us, there were still ten more minutes to the episode.  Ten minutes that featured Olivia confessing the accident of her birth to a 19-year-old serial baby killer and then, yes, holding the Box Baby while cooing to him that "It's all going to be okay." 

Kill me now.


DiNovia's Content Commentary:

No ambulance ride for Liv again.  I guess that era is truly over with.  We mourn. 

Okay, New Yorkers are either really, really jaded or there was some really bad acting going on in that opening scene.  Who looks down at human afterbirth being carried by their dog and does.not.vomit?  O_o

Abandoned baby screams in incubator.
Doctor says baby hasn't bonded with mother.
Olivia shoves Elliot forward so that he can be the first to bond with the baby?  What?  No Babies for Benson bullshit? 
Color me "surprised".

Liv takes a look at the bloody sheets found with the baby and notes that they are a low thread-count, that they are taupe and have distinctive stitching.  This--more than the longer hair, the make-up, even the manvils--identifies Olivia Benson as heterosexual.  Low thread-count?  Taupe??  What next, Liv?  You gonna paint the ceiling beige?

Einstein's Drunken Genius, eh?  I think it's unethical for the writer to use his own name in a show.

Huang, nice to see you again.  Try actually contributing to the show in a substantial way.  That would be nice.

Oooo!  Look at Elliot!  All raged up and no head to split.  Joy.  Thank you, Cragen dear, for sending him "home".

Best line of the show? 
Casey (pointing to tabloid):  "Genius Throws Baby in Trash!  How do you think I should charge her??"

Daddy's a city councilman?  In Newark?  Isn't that comparable to being King of the Costco Parkinglot?  I'm soooo scared.

Yes, Olivia, there is a Santa Claus.  What there seems NOT to be is a single pregnant rape victim who has actually been raped.  What, do you have a sign on your forehead that says "Tell me you were raped and I will weep for you"?

Second best line of the show:
"A million has a nice ring to it."  I love it when Casey's pissed.

Post-partum psychosis?  Huang, honey, remember when I said to contribute to the show in a substantial way?  Yeah.  That wasn't it.  Thanks for playing, though.

Pissed!Liv! strikes again!  "They're working on a third baby to kill.  Your husband's been cheating on you with his own daughter."  (cue Smirk of I Got You, You Sick Fuck)

It's never a good sign when the verdict comes in at 10:50pm and it is Not Guilty Due to Mental Disease or Defect on both counts because that can only mean...

...yep, there it is.  Liv's "I am a product of rape" confession.  AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

Ahhhhh...there they are.  Cagney and Lacey Benson and Novak.  My favorite crime fighting team!  I love them even more than Hart to Hart.  Mainly because they're both women and neither of them are perfect.  Or rich.  Or have a dog.  Or a weird servant guy named Max.  And neither of them wear ascots.  So that's nice.  Yeah.

DiNovia's Other Commentary:

10:18pm Casey Novak on screen!  Still blonde, I see.  Hrmm.

Hey, ass-clown!  Dear Hair Gal,

Once again we come to your weekly evisceration with a grapefruit spoon strongly worded letter.  I see that Casey still looks like a bad 70's paint-by-number masterpiece is still "blonde".  Some have said that the hair is becoming darker but I have to be honest with you:  if that's less blonde, you must be a blind sea urchin on heroin and pixie stix I'm just not seeing it.  I'm not sure how you ever reached your current age unmolested by rabid whelks why this is such a difficult concept for you to master.  Casey looks like someone melted a Sunshine Yellow crayon on her head is blonde.  Casey is completely fuckable as a should be a redhead.  Blonde is for skinny-assed Witness Protection bitches ADAs named Alex.  Oh, wait!  Is that the problem?  Did you accidentally drink anti-freeze use the wrong bottle of dye and are now too much of a fucking moron embarrassed to say anything?  This is so totally not a surprise fixable!  Why don't you just go swimming in the East River wearing a concrete bikini head on down to your local hair salon and purchase any dye with the word 'red' in the description?  I promise you, we'll throw rocks and piranhas anything in the red family is better than blonde.  Now run along and pick up a new drool bib get back to "work".

Pay no attention to the ninja assassin team outside your office Have a nice day,

DiNovia

Lovely Disposable Yellow Scrub of Doom there, Mar.  Was the point of that to distract us from the Baby Belly?  Because it didn't really hide it.  You looked like a deformed banana.

"Welcome to the world, tough guy"???  Elliot, that was almost as lame as Liv's "I'd be proud to have a son like you."  WTF?  PS:  If he's a tough guy and he gets to cry, what exactly is holding you back?

I liked Varla.  Sue me.

That bar t-shirt?  I've puked up better t-shirt designs.  Lame.

Nice hair-cut, B.D.!  Love it!  :D

So it's Elliot's Saturday with his kids and this case is about a kid (which is so unusual in SVU cases, right?) which makes Elliot angry and gets him a FREE DAY OFF??  Using this logic Olivia should have paid time off for every case involving rape or rape and subsequent pregnancy, Munch should have paid time off for every case that involves suicide, and Fin should get paid time off for any case involving narcotics, gun shot wounds, and/or gay men.  Grow up, Elliot!  Jesus!

For Mar, black is the new black.  LOLOLOL

You know, the more they argue, the more I want them to make out.  ;)

Wait!  Was that WARNER??  That means...  ::counts on fingers::  YES!  Everyone was in this episode!  Woo hoo!!  How often does that happen??

No, really!  I mean it!  Every time they argue, the more I want them to make out!

Georgie Whitsig--er--Judge Taten is back!  Always nice to see Ms. Kalember hanging out with the cool kids.  :D  Okay, they used to be the cool kids.  Before Elliot went all Rage in the Cage and Liv started the Babies for Benson campaign.

From my notes when we see Liv entering Ella's room at the state mental institution for the criminally stupid: "Oh God.  Here we fucking go."  And I was right.  What a way to fucking kill an episode!  Olivia Benson does not confess to 19-year-old serial baby killers!  WTF was that??  Why doesn't she just take out a full-page ad in the TIMES, for Christ's sake!  Her situation has nothing in common with Ella's except for the fact that they both have absent fathers.  What is Liv really trying to tell us here?  That she's idealized her father as some wonderful Norman Rockwell Daddy and wants to fuck him when they meet?  Yeah.  BITE MY ASS.

That last moment, though?  With Casey looking on with genuine longing in her eyes while Liv cradles Box Baby in her arms?  Gets a subtext lime. 

Ugh....a rating, huh?  Well, up until the last ten minutes it was as close to an SVU case as we've gotten all season.  And there was Casey.  And Huang.  And Warner without her PDA of Deus Ex Machina...

I'll probably hate myself for this in the morning, but oh well...

No, you know what?  I was going to give it two limes but no.  It's only getting one.  And that's being generous!  Liv confessing to serial baby killers???  Give me a giant fucking break!

DiNovia's Rating:





Twoodles.

DiNovia
 
 
My State of Mind: annoyedannoyed
What the Voices in My Head Hear: Debbie Travis' Painted House
 
 
 
Tiffany: swedish chefpiekid on January 21st, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
Egad! You astound me, Brain!

::giggles::
seftiri: LMAOseftiri on January 21st, 2006 05:19 am (UTC)
Not a difficult task, Pinky.

;)
(no subject) - piekid on January 21st, 2006 05:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - seftiri on January 21st, 2006 05:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - piekid on January 21st, 2006 06:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - seftiri on January 21st, 2006 06:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - piekid on January 21st, 2006 06:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
eclecticfan: Liv Smirkeclecticfan on January 21st, 2006 05:16 am (UTC)
I have not seen a current episode of SVU this year - and I'm thinking I'm liking it this way...

I'll just go into my little corner and reread Harriet or DS and just OD on a Benson I can respect
eclecticfaneclecticfan on January 21st, 2006 05:17 am (UTC)
Oh and my bad
thanks for the review - makes my night
(no subject) - seftiri on January 21st, 2006 05:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
deify_bd_wong on January 21st, 2006 05:51 am (UTC)
We're having a baby right now. End of story. :D!
seftiri: O_oseftiri on January 21st, 2006 05:59 am (UTC)
Right now? This instant? And me without Kevlar Vest of Maternal Camouflage? O_o

You're review almost made me snarf Gatorade! LOL

:D
(no subject) - deify_bd_wong on January 21st, 2006 06:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - seftiri on January 21st, 2006 06:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - deify_bd_wong on January 21st, 2006 06:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - seftiri on January 21st, 2006 06:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - deify_bd_wong on January 21st, 2006 06:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - seftiri on January 21st, 2006 06:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - deify_bd_wong on January 21st, 2006 06:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - seftiri on January 21st, 2006 06:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
Naruto: teehee uraharaaranel_gamgee on January 21st, 2006 06:17 am (UTC)
Ella, who is not enchanted or enchanting LMAO

New Yorkers are either really, really jaded or there was some really bad acting going on in that opening scene.
My brother has a theory when he watches SVU that whoever has the worst acting is the culprit. He's right about 85% of the time.

Fantastic! I missed this week's ep, and I found it much more refreshing to read your review of it based on the contents. ^_^
seftiri: DN Joyseftiri on January 21st, 2006 06:22 am (UTC)
Excellent! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Come back any time. I try to have the reviews up the Wednesday after the ep but this week I was under the weather.

:D
Stacystacyyy on January 21st, 2006 07:37 am (UTC)
...holding the Box Baby while cooing to him that "It's all going to be okay."

My dad is convinced that Olivia is going to "go whacko" and "run off" with Box Baby, in am attempt to keep him from his father/grandfather, and also so she can keep him for herself, LOL. Obviously, that's not going to happen...I tell him that I wonder if they're going to explain on the show why Olivia will be absent for awhile, due to Mariska's pregnancy, and that's what he comes up with.

::sigh:: Crazy man.
seftiri: LMAOseftiri on January 21st, 2006 08:31 pm (UTC)
While I agree with you that this is a O_o scenario, I certainly wouldn't put it past the writers. After all, they did give us Liv Saves New York. ;)

LOL
(no subject) - stacyyy on January 21st, 2006 10:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Trisatrisa419 on January 21st, 2006 04:18 pm (UTC)
You show that hair gal who's boss

Of course her actual boss is probably DW which means she already has a boss, and he's probably in favor of this whole "blonde" thing, but you get the idea.
seftiri: Limer Rageseftiri on January 21st, 2006 08:34 pm (UTC)
DW is no match for the bat'tleth of the House of B'Erin. ;)

My Inner Klingon would roast him on a spit. ;)
(no subject) - trisa419 on January 21st, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
froggumzfroggumz on January 22nd, 2006 01:34 am (UTC)
if that's less blonde, you must be a blind sea urchin on heroin and pixie stix

I'm not sure why I find this line so damn amusing, but I do. Casey looks like she fell into a vat of hydrogen peroxide. We can almost call her the albino ADA of loveliness.

It was nice to see everyone in the episode though, I was beginning to think DW had killed them off without telling anyone. He's an asshat like that.

My cold infected mind has now wandered off without me so I'll stop rambling until I remember why I started. >.<





seftiri: blue angel DNseftiri on January 23rd, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
Awww. I hope you feel better, cutie!

Glad you enjoyed the review!

And yes, DW is an asshat like that. I'm glad he didn't kill off random characters. :D
Shut up and smile: Utena mangamorningafter2 on January 22nd, 2006 04:17 am (UTC)
So it's Elliot's Saturday with his kids and this case is about a kid (which is so unusual in SVU cases, right?) which makes Elliot angry and gets him a FREE DAY OFF?? Using this logic Olivia should have paid time off for every case involving rape or rape and subsequent pregnancy, Munch should have paid time off for every case that involves suicide, and Fin should get paid time off for any case involving narcotics, gun shot wounds, and/or gay men. Grow up, Elliot! Jesus!

Oh, I wasn't the only one who thought so... Still, I'm glad they made him go bye... he's irritating me this season. I can even overlook the moronic way in which they did so.

Daddy's a city councilman? In Newark? Isn't that comparable to being King of the Costco Parkinglot? I'm soooo scared.

*snort* Can I be the Queen of the Costco Parkinglot? I don't want power, just the title will do. I figure Queen of anything might earn me some fear/respect from my brothers. Which will be useful a year from now when at least one will be bigger than me. >_>

Jesus, what are they doing to Casey's hair??? Think someone could sue for defamation of character?

My dad and I are unapologetic mockers, and every week we sit down and have a competition to see who can find more things wrong with the episode. We had a field day with this one. The only one we had more fun with was Storm.

Know what I need to do? I need to start paying more attention to Mariska's wardrobe. The clothes pretty much slip right past me. I don't even notice them.

The only reason this episode got a lime was for the subtext, right? Right? Beacuse there wasn't actually anything else worth seeing was there?

I've rambled enough. *Scuttles off to work on Tracey/Casey*
seftiri: Lime Satseftiri on January 23rd, 2006 11:37 pm (UTC)
The one lime was awarded for the subtext and for the fact that the entire cast was in it, no matter how briefly.

But no, there wasn't really anything worth watching, you're right.

And in my opinion, you can be Queen of any Costco Parkinglot that you wish. If I were you, I'd charge tribute. Get those cars coming and going. ;)
(no subject) - morningafter2 on January 23rd, 2006 11:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
randomtuesday on January 23rd, 2006 04:00 am (UTC)
That review was amazing, as always.
seftiri: All Smilesseftiri on January 23rd, 2006 11:37 pm (UTC)
Gracias!

:D