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03 March 2006 @ 10:26 pm
Review, "Gone", 02/28/06  

This came from my sweetie.  :D  Behold t e h hawtness that is TLG!  Thanks, Tiff! 

Summary of Episode:

In a stunning display of "There is one drunk ass judge out there signing arrest warrants", our intrepid detectives arrest three young men (one of whom is on his way out of the country on his father's private jet) and Casey Novak attempts to arraign them for the rape and murder of a visiting Canadian.  The only problem seems to be that there is no body, no evidence, and--obviously--no complainant witness.  God only fucking knows where those arrest warrants came from.  Either Casey printed them on her ink jet or Petrovsky lost a bet at Terhune's latest poker game.  That's all I can think of.  Of course, the charges were dismissed.  At arraignment, no less.  Jesus Christ, I would have dismissed them and I practically think Casey Novak walks on Limeade!

Anyway, what follows is a veritable parade of our cast.  Hell, Branch even showed up at the damned squad!  His brilliant advice?  "Get one of them to flip on the others."  No, really?  What a super idea, Mr. DA, sir!  /rolling eyes.  So they try.  Two of the boys--Nicky aka Private Airplane Dude and Doug aka Boy Next Door--blame it on the other one--Jason aka The Virgin.  Jason won't flip on the other two or on himself.  The wheels on this bus go round and round until Carter from "Spin City" tells Casey that Jason is just not a violent kid, mainly because he goes to Julliard.  (So did Tori Amos and I could see her jabbing an icepick into someone's skull if she needed to, can't you?)

The Julliard thing tips off Casey and since she's apparently got to do everything herself this case, she puts two and two together and gets the Number 1 train from 66th.  It turns out the "anonymous tip" regarding Nicky's imminent trip to Rio came from Jason and he made it from the train station while waiting to go home from his afternoon of classical music instruction.  Casey gets Jason to flip on the other two and he tells her of a heartwarming story gone bad.  What started out as a buddy flick about two guys trying to help their socially inept friend/cousin lose his virginity turned quickly into "American Psycho" x 2 as the older boys rape the Canadian blonde, drop her off at her hotel, and then later think "Oh.  Maybe we should have killed her."  That's quite an afterthought, boys.  O_o

Here's where we start the Cloak portion of our Cloak and Dagger operation.  The boys hire a drunk who thinks he's some sort of Cold War KGB guy or something to go into the girl's hotel room and steal her passport and coat.  Though the timing on this escaped me completely.  When did this take place?  Huh?  Then the drunk calls her and tells her he has her passport and to meet him at a phone booth, where he later tells Casey the two boys forced her into their car.  A '71 Chevette.  Which they then conveniently report stolen the next day. 

Jason reluctantly agrees to testify at the grand jury then freaks out afterward because of the fallout he's getting from friends and family.  When he makes noises about backing out of his story, Casey comforts him, giving him what is likely to be named the Casey Novak Cuddle of Doom.  His parents take him out of town until he's needed for the trial.  Of course, when Liv and Elliot go to ask him questions about the drunk Russian, he's gone.  No one knows where he is.  They fear the worst.

Naturally, Casey's case hinges on his testimony as they still have not found the Canadian's body or the boys' car.  Without him, her case is just as crappy as the first time it got thrown out of court.  Branch tells her to stall while the detectives try (and fail) to find the boy.  Branch suspects a leak somewhere.  After eliminating the detectives and the boys' parents (on the sole basis of their collective good looks, apparently), all eyes turn to Donnelly's office.  Casey stalls by calling half of Canada in as character witnesses for the missing girl.  The defense takes a dim view of the tactic and Donnelly nixes it.  Casey panics.  Branch calms her down and then tells her to meet him at his car at the end of the day.

Here's where the Dagger portion of our Cloak and Dagger operation begins.  Casey and Branch go to see Donnelly ex parte and Branch tells her that there's a leak in her office because the boy is missing and presumed dead.  All three of them go back to Donnelly's office where they are met by Morales who finds a bug.  However, since there is no way to trace where the bug came from or who it belongs to not to mention no evidence of foul play actually befalling Jason, Donnelly can't grant a mistrial.  Casey rests without Jason's testimony and Donnelly has no choice but to dismiss all charges.  You know, because there wasn't really any evidence of a crime...and all that.

Later, Donnelly meets a morose Casey at a bar and gives her a pep talk, telling her that if she was in Casey's shoes, she'd start interrogating her staff to find out the identity of the mole.  It turns out to be some lame-ass, waste-of-air court officer in her early twenties who apparently thought it would be really hot to fuck a rape and murder suspect.  For a Mercedes.  Not only did she plant the bug but she also went to Tannersville to get Jason and hand-delivered him to the rape/murder suspects.  She thought they were just going to "talk".  And this woman is in law enforcement? 

Then evidence falls out of the sky in the form of the '71 Chevette in which the boys killed and transported the Canadian girl.  It had been in police lockup the entire time because it was not actually stolen but rather towed out from under the boys as they were dumping the girl's body.  When Liv and Elliot figure out where the car was towed from, they head on over there with the entirety of CSU, the whole squad, and Casey.  Where they find one of the Canadian girl's shoes.  And Jason.

Casey, Liv, and Elliot go arrest the bastards responsible while they're sitting down to dinner with their parents in some hoity toity restaurant.

If you go, get the sea bass.  I hear it's great.   

DiNovia's Content Commentary:

Elliot [at private airport]:  This overlapping--
Olivia [at private residence]:  --mirrored dialogue--
Casey [at arraignment court]: --is really fucking annoying, thanks.
Me [at home]:  Seriously.  Never.do.that.again.

And just so I'm perfectly clear here, Cragen not only allowed but encouraged Casey to procure (by whatever mysterious means) not one but three arrest warrants without benefit of a single piece of evidence that a crime had been committed?  What?  Was it "Smoke Crack at Work Day" or something? 

I enjoy a good guest appearance as much as the next person but...Carter from "Spin City", Allie from "Kate and Allie", and Brad from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" as defense lawyers?  I expected the arraignment judge to break out in a jovial rendition of "The Looooooove Boat"...  Oh, and if Susan St. James' appearance in this episode somehow inspires a sudden spate of "Kate and Allie" femslash, I'm going to have to hurt someone.  I don't want to; I have to.

Okay, my fair-weathered detectives.  Not a single one of you had any right to look surprised when Arthur Branch showed up in the squad in a tuxedo to shove his steel-toed dancing shoes up your asses, collectively or individually.  Because really?  You deserved it.  Someone sold their soul to Satan for those arrest warrants and it had better not have been Casey!

It couldn't have been Casey...unless she got Satan to grant superhero powers in some sort of rider because yes, my TV wife is doing all the work by herself!!  Way to know the trains, my little ecologically-conscious ADA!

Nice line:  "Who died?" -- Casey to Warner and Liv just before Warner breaks it to her that they found a male pubic hair in the missing girl's hotel room, leaving the door open for reasonable doubt.

Awwwwww.  ::melts::  ::eyes filling with tears::  Casey hugging the frightened nerd boy was really quite sweetly done.  Brava!

Donnelly is the judge...  ::counts on fingers::  That only leaves Huang.  If we get him, we'll have to put up the Lot is Full sign out at the parking lot.

I'm sorry.  Since when is a defense strategy means of speaking ex parte with a judge during a trial?  Anything those two idiots had to say should have already been covered under a little thing called discovery, yes?  That was bizarre.

Oh hello, Huang.  ::hauls out the Lot is Full sign::  Thanks for joining us.  No, no.  This doesn't mean you have to actually contribute to the plot in any significant way.  Just means you showed up.  Thanks for that, though!

Of course Jason is gone.  However, for someone who was sleeping the last time his parents saw him, that was a pretty neat bed.  No wonder that kid was still a virgin.

Okay, segue with me, won't you?  I know why Mar is...is...of "significant size" but I'm getting a royal kick out of Olivia Benson being the elephant in the room that no one is talking about!  LOL  So here are my top 5 reasons that Olivia Benson is Packing on the Pounds:

5. She is now a major shareholder in Krispy Kreme, Inc.
4. Her metabolism has come to a screeching stop after all those Babies for Benson false alarms.
3. Along with the almost exclusively blue clothing, it's a tribute to her favorite "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" character, Violet Beauregarde.
2. She's been killing and eating junior officers.
and the number one reason Olivia Benson is Packing on the Pounds?
1. Cragen had her desk moved to that new Italian restaurant across the street.
Ahh, yes.  The Casey vs. Elliot screaming match was lovely, thank you.  I'm sure all you C/Eers are all asquee, yes.  However, I love it specifically because it led us to the best line of the night:  "Is that what this is?  A game?" -- Casey to Cragen after he accuses her of playing the blame game.  Yeah, I started crying right there.  Sue me.

If Branch keeps up with this "President of the Casey Novak Fan Club" act, I'm going to have to start liking tolerating him and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to do that yet, dammit!

I guess Liz is gonna have to stop having sex with trannies in her chambers now that she knows how easy it was to bug the place.  I loved her line  "Is that me?" when hearing her voice broadcasting throughout the office.  I wish someone had said "No, that's me.  I do a damn good impression of you.  It's a hit at all the parties."  In the words of Bill Engvall, "Here's your sign."

Who else wanted to beat that stupid court officer to death with a ball-pean hammer?  Raise of hands?  ::counts::  Good.  Because how stupid do you have to be to have sex with a rape suspect and then deliver the only witness against him directly into his hands?  If she really thought they were only going to "talk", why the FUCK didn't she wait around to haul his skinny ass back to Tannersville?  Did she think they were gonna talk about the weather some and then he was gonna catch a cab back to his hide-out?  Answer: she's just as guilty as they are and should be made comfortable in a nice 6 x 8 cell somewhere in upstate New York, courtesy of the citizens she was supposed to be protecting.

Oh.  And she should get 15 years tacked on for using Casey's name as the lure to get Jason in the car.  Damn her to fucking Hell!!  You don't think that's gonna haunt Casey for the rest of her life?  Fuck you, you stupid bitch!

And yes, I did cry at the end some more.  Thanks for noticing.

DiNovia's Other Commentary:

10:01pm Casey Novak on screen!  That's...that's some kind of record isn't it?  Oh yeah, baby!  Bring it on.  :D

I like the game they played, the "Pick Your Partner, Do-Si-Do" at the beginning.  Nice to see Liv with Munch ever so briefly.

Today's Baby Bump Barriers will be the credits and, yes, another child.  After that, we have to go "above the sternum", as it were, because yeah...  O_o

Okay, this is completely random.  But in my notes, right after I mention the Casey Cuddle of Doom, I say:  "Casey -- nice watch."  I have no idea why I thought the watch was so nice.  Apparently I was shopping or something. 

That bar scene between Liz and Casey was classic.  However, it gets a whole lime for Liz's order, alone.  "Club soda with lime."  Hell yes!!  :D

Okay, this is the point where I would normally write a freaking essay on how wonderful Diane Neal is as an actress and generally jut squee for hours and hours but I find I just don't have the words.  I haven't cried at an episode of SVU since "Night", ladies and gentlemen, and this episode I did it not once but twice.  That alone should tell you how riveting I found her performance.  Another clue would be the absolute lack of notes in this section of the review.  I guarantee you I missed tons of pertinent info, scenes, and/or quotes just due to watching TLG in all her glory.  The woman fucking knows her stuff.  That.  Is.  All.   

And that really is all.

Mar must be singing somewhere out there then, eh?  ;)

So, largely in appreciation for the work of Diane, I give you this week's rating...

.5 (actual plot) + 2.5 (DN's amazing work)+ 1 (Donnelly's drink order)=

DiNovia's Rating:


My State of Mind: pleasedpleased
What the Voices in My Head Hear: Joan Osborne--St. Teresa
Danielle: Casey - Smilingdani_ellie on March 4th, 2006 03:46 am (UTC)
10:01pm Casey Novak on screen! That's...that's some kind of record isn't it? Oh yeah, baby! Bring it on. :D

HELL yes. NEED to tape this when it comes on USA. NEED.
seftiri: Casey Kicks Assseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:08 pm (UTC)
Yes indeed! :D Casey-centric love fest!! ;)
(Deleted comment)
seftiri: DN Joyseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:09 pm (UTC)
And Limers everywhere rejoiced! :D
(Anonymous) on March 4th, 2006 04:34 am (UTC)
I've just subjected myself to an hour of "conviction" and your review pulled me from the brink of suicide. So....much....Cabot!!! I thought I saw a smidge of emotion, then I realized that she was fixing her golden locks of arrogance. Damn me, and my tendency to honor promises I make!! But anyway, even with the lack of plot, this episode kicked ass. Now what I really want to see is Casey have a throw-down with a perp. You know, some ass-wipe tries to attack her, and she just *makes weird karate gestures* him!!! Was it just me, or did TLG's hair look a shade darker? I could have been seeing things.
seftiri: Die Cabotseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:16 pm (UTC)
I thought I saw a smidge of emotion, then I realized that she was fixing her golden locks of arrogance.

OMG. I snorted with laughter over that.

Of course I didn't even bother watching it. I spent the time in much more noble pursuits, i.e. talking to my sweetie. ;)

And yes!! Yes to Casey whippin' out the black belt on a fiesty perp! I love that idea.

I thought the hair was leaning toward being darker too, but I couldn't be sure.

shayshaych_03 on March 4th, 2006 10:47 am (UTC)
hee. such a good ep :D and the dude, um... you called him "carter" ... he's been on svu before. IIRC, he was the defense attorney for another favorite casey ep, "Abomination". (Where we learn about Casey's Ecoawareness... he walks up to her as she bikes into work...)

reason number six that olivia is packing on the padding: Casey is a great cook.


i'm still sorting my caps. O_o. i'll see if i have one of the watch LOL

seftiri: Benson Cute Smileseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:19 pm (UTC)
and the dude, um... you called him "carter" ... he's been on svu before. IIRC, he was the defense attorney for another favorite casey ep, "Abomination". (Where we learn about Casey's Ecoawareness... he walks up to her as she bikes into work...)

Dave Seavers. Yes, I am aware that he's been on SVU before. I have tons of caps of him standing next to Casey after all. My point was that he was a well-known character from another show prior to this.

And thanks! If you do find a cap of the watch let me know. I'd like to know why I thought it was so striking. LOL
shayshaych_03 on March 5th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
well, i do have caps of the watch but they aren't detailed. however i can tell you that it's the very same watch she has worn all along. silver toned, numbered face, white back, black numerals, dark burgandy or black band. the watch face itself is about the size of a quarter, maybe a little larger.

seftiri: O_oseftiri on March 5th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
Of course you can...

shayshaych_03 on March 6th, 2006 07:19 am (UTC)
seen too many caps, much? yes, and no, i haven't LOL but yeah. so i sort of know her outfits. down to the boring gold hoops they seem to love putting her in.
Stacystacyyy on March 4th, 2006 07:45 pm (UTC)
So did Tori Amos and I could see her jabbing an icepick into someone's skull if she needed to, can't you?)

Oh, totally.
seftiri: Mar Grinseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:20 pm (UTC)
See? I thought so too. ;)
Trublutrublusvufan on March 5th, 2006 12:27 am (UTC)
Hilarious, though I didnt need to tell you that.

"Okay, this is completely random. But in my notes, right after I mention the Casey Cuddle of Doom, I say: "Casey -- nice watch." I have no idea why I thought the watch was so nice. Apparently I was shopping or something. "

I NOTICED THAT TOO!! I thought I was losing brain cells for noticing something so trivial... but I guess not ;)

And I totally see you on the lack of Diane Neal essay, I just was unable to write during this episode; DN apparently turns off my motor skills. I believe at one point I forgot to breathe.
seftiri: DN2seftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:24 pm (UTC)
I'm sooooooo glad someone else noticed the watch!! I felt so strange for noticing it!

And my notes for this episode were embarrassing in their pitifulness...which, of course, I blame totally on DN... ;)

Glad you enjoyed the review dear!

Mystic Amethyst: avengingmysticamethyst on March 5th, 2006 01:42 am (UTC)
Just got back from a Disney movie marothon, and this just made my day/night...whatever.

Elliot [at private airport]: This overlapping--
Olivia [at private residence]: --mirrored dialogue--
Casey [at arraignment court]: --is really fucking annoying, thanks.
Me [at home]: Seriously. Never.do.that.again.

This made me laugh so loud that I'm sure people in the flat next to mine have woken up. Bear in mind its three in the morning...:o. People must think, from the fits of hysterical laughter that come from my room when I read one of your reviews, that I am absolutely insane. And they'd be correct...but still :).
seftiri: DN Starpowerseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
Heh! I'm glad you liked that part! LOL

If I need to send an "I'm sorry" card to the people in the flat next door, you just let me know. Happy to do so. ;)

(Anonymous) on March 5th, 2006 03:06 am (UTC)
Casey didn't have to sell her soul, she's the Lime Avenger by night!! She just hypnotized a judge with her "lime powers" to get the arrest warrant signed!!!

...Okay yeah, that was lame but I have Obessive Compulsive Dissorder and "It" wouldn't leave me alone until I posted.
seftiri: Been Limedseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC)
No, no! Not lame! That actually explains a lot! Although I now really need to know what these "lime powers" are...



Catherine: yourethebombshinko0278 on March 5th, 2006 03:32 am (UTC)
This was a great episode. All I have to say is poor Casey. I love the fact the advertised really heavy on the whole Susan St. James guest staring, Virgin boy's parents were on more than her. And I loved the drink order. I was all like oh cool and my parents were all what's wrong with you.
seftiri: Limer Green and Goliath Purpleseftiri on March 5th, 2006 07:36 pm (UTC)
And I loved the drink order. I was all like oh cool and my parents were all what's wrong with you.

LOLOLOLOLOL For some reason, that tickles me lime. ;)


It was a great episode, wasn't it?