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11 July 2005 @ 04:57 am
I was tagged to show my dorkdom...so don't blame me...  
Tagged by shitashii for the 5 Reasons You are a Dork list. And they have to be good reasons and fully explained. Well, this won't take long.

In no particular order:

1. I will research anything.
Ever since I was a little kid, I have done excessive amounts of research for no reason at all. At 8, I used to borrow my English teacher's dictionary at lunch so I could learn new words. At ten, I asked my mother to teach me German (I still believed she knew everything then) so I could read Mein Kampf in its original language so I could better understand Hitler's criminal insanity. In the 8th grade, I would turn in book reports on famous mathematicians with my word problem homework, completely unasked for. In the 11th grade I took a simple assignment (Explain the effects of sin on the three major characters in Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter) and wrote a thirty page treatise in a week, complete with an outline and a rough draft. The next longest paper after mine was 2 pages long. In my second year of college, at a new school, I spent hours in the library learning new things between classes. Once it was the history of raisin production in Fresno, CA and once it was the most venomous spiders in Australia.

A couple of years ago, a boss of mine found out about my research mania and she made a game out of it. She would send me random subjects to research and time my responses. The one I remember most clearly was the origin of the phrase "hare-brained" because my response had visual aids, including a series of photographs of hare brains that I compared to the sizes of other mammals' brains.

2. I adore languages. The odder or deader, the better.
I have formally studied French, German, Spanish, Italian, Hebrew and Lakota, the language of the Sioux. I have taught myself a little bit of Cantonese, some Gaelic, some Cherokee, tLingan Hol (Klingon), and Vulcan. It is my dearest wish to become fluent in Hebrew, Gaelic, Lakota, Aramaic, Zulu, Urdu, and any Native American language I can wrap my brain around. I have a facility with languages, a sort of advantage. The verbal centers of my brain woke up at three months of age and I started speaking in clear words and phrases. My first words were "Hello there", spoken to my mother when I was only three months old. She was leaning over the crib to wake me up and when I did, I said "Hello there" as plain as day. My mother, being a good Catholic woman, thought I was possessed by the devil and considered getting me exorcised. I was speaking in sentences by nine months old, and had taught myself to read by two. Obviously English stopped challenging me early on and I had to move on to other languages. I have a cat named Kahless the Unforgettable and he understands commands in both English and Klingon because that's how I trained him.

Also, I have been known to invent languages for my Voyager stories. Like the following excerpt from Queen of Hearts.

He flexed his biceps and drew his long arms up to deliver a simple combination move to his invisible foe, pleased by the sounds of his blades slicing through the air. He followed the simple combination with a spinning attack and then a feint, so intent on his warm-up that he missed the sound of the arena's doors opening and the dim sound of footsteps crossing the smooth floor.

"Aya?" said the intruder softly and Wuqat turned to see his only surviving child, Qati, looking at him with wide, proud eyes. He held a small container in his upturned hands. Wuqat smiled.

"Qati, esai," he said in greeting, removing his slisss. He knelt in front of the boy, only 3 cycles old, and took the container from him. He lifted its lid and looked inside, his smile widening.

"Uwre-no kenra?" It was imperative that no one had seen Qati bringing the paste that lay in the little box if his plan was to succeed.

"Ksayt," said Qati, shaking his head. Wuqat nodded approvingly. Using the yiheja poison in a ritual battle was strictly forbidden under the laws still in effect from Cosine 30, when the Ulii-Marisin decision had been ratified. Though he didn't think Irlo-Jaat would object, he did not know how much the Humans truly did understand about Raadamani law. The rumor on Pod Boi-Ovani was that some children on board the strange ship had stumbled upon a Raadamani legend that had given the Human lead the idea to press the Ulii-Marisin decision. Wuqat couldn't take the chance that that was true.

If the Humans found the yiheja poison or suspected its use, it would mean an instant forfeit on Boi-Ovani's part, giving his opponent custody of the fractional child. However, the neural poison would also give him an out if things began to look bad for him in the fight.

Just the merest dab of yiheja on the skin would do the job. All he had to do was have some nearby, someplace no one would suspect. He looked around the arena, his eyes stopping on one perfect spot.

"Tojii-wa, Qati," he said, gesturing for his child to follow him. "Ri fesa-am ses kuwut."

Qati ducked his head obediently and darted off to retrieve a pair of fighting gloves from a bench nearby. He met his father at the tos, the point where things begin and things end. Every Raadamani arena had a tos and every tos was marked in the same way… with a sturdy pole on which to display the podial crest.

"Ken-am, Qati," said Wuqat, directing his child's attention to the pole. "Ri lati-wa no kuwut." Once Qati had donned the oversized fighting gloves, Wuqat proceeded to show him how to conceal the yiheja on the back of the pole, teaching him to never touch it with bare skin even though they had both taken the counter-agent to nullify its effects. Wuqat was not a risk-taker by any stretch of the imagination but even caution demanded extra vigilance where his only remaining child was concerned. As the youngster carefully spread a bit of the poison on the pole where directed, Wuqat squeezed his narrow shoulder with pride.

Not only had he assured his victory in the battle to come, but he had also taught his son the true value of that victory. Profit ruled most conflicts but pride had its place, too. Wuqat would defeat the Human champion and wash away the dishonor of losing his other children with the blood of that fractional infant, that offensive, weak, impure error that did not deserve to live.

Yes, I know exactly what all of that means and no, it isn't gibberish. It actually has a grammar and conjugation. ;)

3. I will go alone to almost any public venue, including movies, museums, restaurants, etc.
Sometimes I will bring a book, a notebook, a sketchbook or the like, sometimes I will simply go alone to enjoy a good meal. If the waitstaff treats me golden instead of like a pariah, I have been known to tip 100% or more. I once took time off of work to travel to the state capital and visit all the museums there. I have gone to the Rodin exhibit, the Muscha exhibit, and countless lesser known artist exhibits utterly alone. I once dreamed about living in the Smithsonian. I relish going to movies alone, sitting where I want to sit and seeing what I want to see. On my 32nd birthday, I went to see Monster's Inc. and Lord of the Rings alone, one right after the other. The little 17-year-old manager let me into LotR for free as a gift. I have skipped college classes to see movies such as Dances with Wolves on Tuesdays in the early afternoon where I am likely to be the only person in the theatre. I went alone to see the re-release of The Wizard of Oz and I cried throughout the first 30 minutes because of the nostalgia factor. I cried alone in Jurassic Park because CGI had come so far. I will see horror and suspense movies alone, tear-jerkers, action flicks, romances, and comedies. It doesn't matter to me. And I can quote almost the entirety of the movie Clue.

4. I have been writing fanfiction since before it had a name.
When I was six, I was relegated to watching my mom's soaps for her and reporting to her what happened. This task was very educational. Imagine a six-year-old giving report on General Hospital. "And then Jackie switched the vials so that Scotty would think she was the one who was pregnant and then he would marry her. And Heather tried to discredit Anne by telling everyone she was having sex with a married doctor in the linen closets of the hospital. And Laura's mom went to jail for Laura, confessing to the murder of that guy, the one Laura hit with the fireplace poker." Needless to say, I started to get the "feel" for TV and how it should go. I would get my handwriting practice pads and start writing different endings to episodes of TV. Extended Charlie's Angels eps, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Doctor Who, and even Star Wars, to name a few. I became interested in script-writing but soon realized that most of what I wanted to see on TV would never happen. So I just stuck to my little stories. I didn't know what I was doing had a name until I came across Xena fanfic. And voila, now I am a fanfic writer.

5. (If this isn't instant proof of life-long dorkdom, I don't know what is.) I didn't lose my virginity or was even ever properly kissed until I was 25.
Not because I didn't have opportunity. Surely the few dates I went on with highschool boys could have turned out much differently had I had one single iota of heterosexual feeling in me at all. But I didn't realize I was a lesbian until I was 18 and then I didn't come out until I was 22. And I spent the first three years of my outdom pining for a straight girl and a bisexual girl. Then I got a clue and found my first girlfriend. My relationships haven't turned out all that great, so I have recently opted to go back to virginity. LOL

Well, there you go. There are many other dorky things about me. Many, many more. Like I tend to cry when I meet an actress I admire. Claudia Black smiled up at me one day while giving me an autograph and I simply burst into tears. There was nothing quiet about this. I hiccupped and then wham, I was almost hyperventilating. When I turned to leave, she asked me if I was okay. I nodded and waved and fled the scene. And she isn't even one of my top ten actress loves. There is a joke amongst those who know me. They say that if I were ever to meet Jeri Ryan in person that I would probably lose it so completely that they'd have to give me IV fluids afterwards.

Also, I collect bladed weapons and I name them.

So...tag...I tag anyone who wants to do this one. It is very fun!


DiNovia (<---------dorky thing, too. It's bastardized Italian for "Of Nine")
My State of Mind: anxiousthere's a creepy looking bug
shayshaych_03 on July 11th, 2005 02:00 pm (UTC)
No, Erin... if you meet Jeri Ryan, we will have to have the EMTs on hand to shock you back into life, for you will have fainted dead away...

(running and grinning)
seftiri: KMAseftiri on July 11th, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC)
Yeah yeah. I know. Probably the first time I will ever faint will be in front of Jeri Ryan. Perfect. Everyone be sure to have a camera handy. It will be worth it to have on file permanently. :P
shayshaych_03 on July 12th, 2005 03:52 am (UTC)
camera? hah! i'll be holding the stretcher ;)
seftiri: limeseftiri on July 12th, 2005 04:28 pm (UTC)
Look, just leave the stretcher alone, it ain't going anywhere. Instead, hold onto JERI...I don't want her leaving before I have the opportunity to further embarrass myself in front of her. Perhaps sobbing. Or hyperventilating. However I am open to suggestions. LOL
shayshaych_03 on July 12th, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC)
might i suggest a stammered, "thankyouverymuchformanyyearsoffangirlishness"?

or maybe, "wow. you are so pretty."

or even the tried and true, *hiccupping giggle* "will you sign my Seven dollie?"

or the T/7'er version, "will you autograph my bat'leth?"
seftiri: Limersseftiri on July 12th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC)
The bat'elth one would be the one, wouldn't it? And then she'd think I was trying to attack her because I'd be so stupid as to thrust it at her blade first...and then I'd end up in JAIL... SWEET!
shayshaych_03 on July 12th, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC)
and thus the reason to have a friend with you. buddy system. you know. "no erin, handles first. sorry, ms. ryan. she doesn't get out much."
seftiri: Limersseftiri on July 12th, 2005 05:14 pm (UTC)
"In fact, Ms. Ryan, she hasn't truly been out in more than a year. She still thinks chipotle is a 'new' thing and that pink is the new pink. You'll just have to excuse her."
shayshaych_03 on July 12th, 2005 05:18 pm (UTC)
LOL You mustn't forget about the hip, new fad of piercing places on one's anatomy that should never, ever see a needle...

ralstralst on July 11th, 2005 04:35 pm (UTC)
So I gues I should cancel that Jeri Ryan kiss-a-gram the peeps at VJB authorised me to arrange for your next birthday?
seftiri: limeseftiri on July 11th, 2005 09:15 pm (UTC)
Oh please, don't go to such extremes for me! I don't mind fainting. I don't even mind electro-shock paddles. So November, right? I will plan on being at home that entire day. ;)
ralstralst on July 11th, 2005 10:07 pm (UTC)
Darn. If only you'd sent that message a little earlier. Unfortunately I've already changed the date/location. Now the Jeri-a-gram is scheduled for April. In England. For me.

And unfortunately Jeri's people frown on multiple changes ::grin::
seftiri: KMAseftiri on July 11th, 2005 10:24 pm (UTC)
Yeah yeah. Story of my frickin' life. I know what this is, you know. This is payback for C/O-yay! You can't fool me. Fine, fine. I can take it.

ralstralst on July 11th, 2005 10:32 pm (UTC)
No, the sniper crouching on the roof across from your building is payback for C/O. Jeri is just fun ::grin::
seftiri: Limersseftiri on July 12th, 2005 01:57 am (UTC)
Ahh, that was the screech and thud I heard earlier. Too bad I greased the roofs of all the houses within a one mile radius of my house. LOL